November 18, 2008

Preparing my heart to be a wife

It's so interesting how life comes full circle, or so it seems at times. Some days I actually feel a little guilty that my "valley" wasn't all that long of a trek. Shouldn't I have had to drudge through a little longer, Lord? Well, His plan was good! And I remember that this is the answer to a prayer that started with my dad. Shortly after my divorce, my dad told me that he was praying that I would marry again one day and that it would be soon. I argued with him a little and then he told me that his desire for this husband to come soon was really for the kids sake and not so much mine. I joined him in that prayer asking the Lord to bring the kids and I someone who would come soon enough that the kids would hardly be able to remember before he came into our lives. God chose to answer this prayer.

Now, in just 4 short days I will marry this man that God has sent to us. We are all kind of getting married as a family in a sense. The kids are gaining a dad. Paul is becoming a dad for the first time. He is becoming a husband for the first time. I am becoming a wife...again. It's no secret that I've walked this road before, even though some days I would like to deny it as truth. But I can't. I can't "fix" that. I have been married before. It's no secret to Paul or anyone else for that matter. But, still somewhere inside I wish it could be the first time for me as well.

So, I began the heart training many weeks ago when I accepted Paul's proposal of marriage. I began talking to myself about what it would look like to be Paul's wife. How can I love him more? How can I serve him better? How can I promote peace in our house and make it feel like a home? It has been a joy to begin thinking these thoughts again. Even the other day I had so many things to get done in a tiny window of time. I was battling with which things to do next and what things to drop altogether. The thought came to my mind..."What would honor Paul the most?" So, I decided that ironing his clothes for him was first priority. It's been fun retraining my mind from a selfish mentality and for my children only...to someone else as well. Someone wonderful!

What could we all push off out to-do list that free up some space to bless someone else? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

8 comments:

Christi said...

Praying for you, friend! I am so excited too!
I battle daily with my priorities and what will honor the Lord, my husband, and my family - especially is this hectic season of life! It is a daily decision and effort to stay focused on eternity and how that plays out here on earth!
I am so thankful that you will be able to serve your husband in way that honors our Lord.
Love you!

Kimberly said...

We are praying for you and rejoicing with you! It's amazing to see what God has done and how far He's brought you and those precious kiddos.

Monica Chadwell said...

You have a beautiful heart, Tamra. Simply beautiful.

Your worth is already far beyond rubies, and Paul is indeed a fortunate man.

What a lovely family you all will make! Praise God for His infinite blessings, and may His face continue to shine on you.

Monica

Liz said...

Tamra,

My heart is rejoicing with you! I'm so very glad that God has given you an answer to your prayer. Hugs to you, Liz

Angel said...

Beautiful post friend. Angel

Anonymous said...

I have been thinking and praying for you so much the last few weeks. I can only imagine the excitement and emotions that you must be having. I cant wait to get to catch up sometime when your life calms down at some point. Enjoy every moment and we are praising God right along with you! Cynthia Berman

Louisiana Belle said...

Tamra, thanks for the reminder to adjust my thinking. It's so easy to do what I think is best and not consider what would honor Jason at the moment. For instance, when he comes home from work he can't relax unless the house is picked up. So, I make it a priority to do a quick pick up of toys and clutter before he walks through the door. It honors him- and I get to enjoy a relaxed husband, not one stressed about clutter and chaos around him! I'm so excited for you- we'll be praying for you this weekend and after. What a wonderful time!

Unknown said...

Well, I think you are married now girl, as I write this. I've been thinking about you so much! I am sure you are the beaming bride right now, and loving having a husband once again! Thanks for the post...I believe God has truly blessed you because you have remained faithful to Him during all of this, and you definitely have lived a righteous life...you are proof of His loving hand towards those who trust in Him. Enjoy your new husband!